Why I Hate Mary Poppins!

I only just realised it the other day, I'm the mummy equivalent of a bag lady, minus the bag...

I just happened to spot myself in the mirror as I was foraging through one of the many large pockets which adorn my day to day attire.  I took a long hard look in that mirror with dismay, as it seems I've begun to choose clothing based more on practicality than style.  The days outfit choice is now generally based around whether it has enough storage (not only for my ample stomach, thighs and other assorted wobbly bits), but for wide variety of baby paraphernalia as well.  Not a day goes by that I don't stick my hand in a pocket and find one (or more) of the following:

• A sock/A shoe
• A muslin cloth
• A bib
• A bottle lid
• A baby wipe
• A used nappy (yes I know that is disgusting *hangs head in shame)

Bag lady or hobo status aside,  I can accept that.  My issue is that bloody Mary Poppins!  I used to like the woman really, but now I see her for what she really is.  A complete cow!  I mean, what a stuck up, flashy know it all cow! On one side you have little old me with my hobo pockets, and on the other is Mary, with her flashy magic bag!  You've seen the kind of rubbish I pull out of my pockets!  Then along comes Mary pulling out magic mirrors, flying umbrellas and coat stands no less! Not one dirty nappy in sight!  Perfect figure, perfect hair and a singing voice that would make angels weep.  Practically perfect in every way....How is a hobo pocket monster like me supposed to live up to that kind of example?  Even if I had her magic umbrella I'd still be crap, the weight I am now I doubt it would be able to get me off the ground!  It just isn't fair! Not a very realistic or achievable role model for mums is she? 




Of course, you know I'm not really talking about Mary Poppins.  I'm talking about all those seemingly super mums out there.  The ones you see with the carefree expression and the angelic children.  Not a hair out of place, not a blemish or stain on their body or clothing, or even their character.  You just know they bake cakes, and knit and volunteer for the red cross in their spare time too.  That will never be me.  I like to eat cake in my spare time, I occasionally curse and I always spill food on myself.  I try to be better, but I always fall short of my own expectations.  As you can imagine, it isn't a great self esteem booster. Having thought about it a while now,  I have come to this conclusion...I could waste my time comparing myself to the "practically perfect" people in this world or I could just be Holly's mum and relax and enjoy our time together, knowing I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.  I may never be the perfect mum, but I'm the only mum Holly has, so I'd best get on with it.  If I can make my baby smile, I must be doing something right, so I'll focus on that for now.


So what became of Mary Poppins?  She may still seem practically perfect but I heard her and  Bert split up.  Apparently they'd been having problems for a while, she was high maintenance and always acted as if he wasn't good enough for her.  She always did seem to be stringing the poor bloke along though, what a tease!  Last I heard Bert was doing well though, he'd changed his name to Caractacus Potts and was getting it on with some bit of stuff called Truly Scrumptious in the back of his new car Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.  Just goes to show, some people are very good at keeping up appearances, you never do know what goes on behind closed doors!